I know what’s it like to watch someone you once loved, (or still do secretly) love someone else, the way you wanted to be loved.
So, when I bumped into my friend’s newly-married-ex at a festival, I just couldn’t help myself. I was aching to know: why wasn’t she enough?
Of course for her, but a bit for me too.
A few dances and drinks later, I finally asked about his new wife.
‘She’s wonderful, I love her – I’ve never felt this way about anyone’ he said, soppily yes. But, almost proudly too.
He’d lined up my follow-up perfectly.
‘More than Eliza?’ I asked.
‘I loved her,’ he said. ‘I still do. But it was different. We weren’t right for each other. Besides, look how much Eliza’s grown since we split’.
And as pained me to admit it…
he’s right.
She is thriving.
At least on the outside.
Still, it made me think.
How breakups can feel so heartbreaking and so devastatingly unfair.
How we try to make sense of them.
How we try to find someone to blame.
But, what if there’s no one to blame?
What if the person you thought was your person…
just isn’t?